I had a dream that revolved entirely around the word “SQUIGGLE”
Another that someone bought me this adorable Chihuahua, with a much wider body than usual.
Humans are so predictable. Regret doesn’t exist to me, it’s really many other feelings and remnants wearing the costume of simply one word.
When I’m moving through life, I have the ability to see when I’m falling off balance. I can usually pin point problems and use productive thinking to solve them. As opposed to imploding into a shattered kaleidoscope of negative emotion and pointless/harmful action/inaction.
Sometimes its hard to forgive even myself. Forgiveness and acceptance are two things that have grown significantly on me, though there are certain times that burn me. It was easier to first accept loving everyone else, forgiving anyone for anything they’ve done, because I know in my heart and soul that every living being has pure loving energy at their core. This world we are living in is practically designed to stifle that energy, and to ignite negativity and hate. The very structure of our experience seems to be playing off of people’s bad habits and decisions. Now, coming to forgive myself.. hmm. I’m mostly a good person, I know I’ve got that loving energy because it pours out of me almost every day. Yet I have let myself get stuck on something, or make a choice that has serious consequences. And holding to the fact that I pretty much know right from wrong, when I DO wrong, my newly natural reaction is to open my arms wide to what comes next. (Like stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, and then lingering there to await the cookie-thief beating) We are all “human” after all, which I find myself using as an excuse. BUT even after all of these patterns of thought, blah blah blah, I have come to realize that accepting your mistakes as part of your path, as part of something else to learn, makes it easier to actually learn from it rather than dwell on it. When I’m kinder to myself, I’m kinder and brighter to others. If I feel like shit, I’m a quiet dark cloud pulsating with thunderous energy, likely to strike at random and without thinking. When I hold my own hand as well as the fact that better things will come, I move through life with much more ease. And I’m more pleasant that way, anyway. So might as well smile about some shit that’s been pulled and remember to wear a seat belt. Why wallow in pitty? There is always something better.